Periodically, I find myself searching for the solution to the same problem as always. The search terms are various, but all boil down to the same thing. “How to focus on only one thing.” “How to narrow down my interests.” “What should I focus on?” “How to become great at one thing.” “Too many interests.” “Too many hobbies.” “How do I choose what to do?”
I’m a woman plagued—or gifted, take your pick—with an interest in almost everything. I mean, of course there are things I don’t care about. Thank goodness, I have no interest in football or raising gerbils. (Though I’ve thought about raising angora rabbits.) I love reading, and not just in one or two areas, but gardening memoirs, history, theology, handcrafts, homesteading, and classic literature. I’m sure that’s not all. I have around 1,000 books, many still to be read. I have hobbies. Knitting, hand-spinning, cross stitch, learning the mandolin, drawing, colored pencil drawing, watercolor. I also like writing, hand-dyeing, want to learn to bake, cook Japanese food, cook French food. I could go on. Also, if it happens I see something fascinating on YouTube or Pinterest, I might latch onto a new interest with the fever of first love. So whenever a conflict arises about what to do, whenever I feel like a failure at getting good at any one thing, whenever I realize I have no time and will die without leaving a blip on the Earth, I panic and do what any panicked Gen X-er does: I run an internet search.
I found in my searches that help was not coming. It seemed no one but me wanted to figure out how to narrow down their huge lists of interests. What was wrong with these people? There were a couple of YouTube videos on the subject, but most of the time, the solutions presented did not help. They mostly suggested figuring out whether you’re really interested in said enormous list of things, or just indulging your “fantasy self” or somesuch. One quote I wrote down to consider was, “Are you in love with the work itself, or the idea of the work?” YES I AM IN LOVE WITH ALL THESE WORKS. Most of my interests are not new; I’ve actually done the activities and enjoyed them a lot. I just have so many that I can’t seem to make time for them, and the ensuing feelings of guilt that fact induces result in a lot of time wasted, wondering what’s wrong with me.
However, the last time I ran the search, I encountered something different. Yes, I found that most people were still encouraging each other not to choose. But this time, they referenced a book, Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher. So many people mentioned and recommended this book that I gave in and looked it up, expecting some kind of upbeat self-help manual. I figured that it was going to be some self-indulgent post-hippie coddling for “artistes” and “creatives,” but I told myself I could get it as an ebook and whip through it quickly, just to be sure. Now, having read it, I’m glad I did.
While Refuse to Choose is written in the same conversational and witty style as Confessions of an Organized Homemaker (another helpful book) and other light self-help books, it’s not a book about making excuses or expecting other people to indulge you in your mental chaos. It’s a quick read that guides you in understanding why you have so many interests and gives you strategies in managing them, suited to your personality and your reasons for not sticking with one thing.
Author Barbara Sher first outlines a general sort of person, whom she calls a “Scanner.” This is not my favorite name; it reminds me of an ’80s horror movie or a piece of office equipment. I have a feeling the name derives from the person’s habit of “scanning” for new horizons and excitements; though she might have explained it in a previous book, in this one I don’t recall that she ever really does. Anyway, she says this person is “genetically wired” (whatever that means) to have many interests and move from one to another quickly in comparison to most people. She talks about the reasons for this, and gives some encouragement that there’s nothing wrong with it. She also gives examples of Scanners from history. She makes the assertion, which I think is probably correct, that in the past, this kind of person with broad and changing interests was not frowned upon, and that it’s only with the rise of specialization that everyone was expected to stick to only one interest, which would also result in a career. If I was to guess when this began, I would say it was probably with the rise of corporate work, but that’s just a gut impression.
After Sher puts you at ease about your Scanner proclivities, she gives some general strategies for managing your many interests. My favorite is the suggestion for twenty to thirty three-ring binders, each one designated for a different interest, where you can record your learning, planning, thoughts, and ideas, and put in clippings and print-outs that you find useful, basically allowing you to open a binder whenever you feel like working on something and pick up where you left off. I think this would really help me pick up and put down projects, freeing me to work on something new without anxiety.
The second part of the book is comprised of the different types of Scanner, helping you figure out which one you might be and offering strategies to be effective as that type. Sher has chapters for nine types of Scanner, but in a video I watched around the time I started the book, she affirmed that there might be more or fewer types—these were just the ones she had been able to identify so far. The two main categories are Cyclical Scanners (those who revisit a certain number of interests over and over) and Sequential Scanners (who go from one new interest to another). Each of these categories contains a number of different types. In addition to offering suggestions for how to manage your interests, Sher also includes ideas for career paths that can either spring from your interests or give you time to pursue them (i.e. the “Good Enough Job”).
Besides not liking the term “Scanner” and some of the names she chooses for types (mine is the “Sybil” type, and you know, I’d rather not think about a mental disorder every time I think about my type; look it up if you aren’t familiar with the reference), my main complaint about the book would be the abundance of success stories and examples in the text. I realize these serve the purpose of encouragement, and in many cases are meant to help you identify your type, but it can feel like unnecessary padding; books like this often seem like they could be published as a 15-page white paper with a quiz and be just as helpful. But, it also gave me some pages to skip (as did the order in which she presented the types, which go from more to less cyclical in their behavior), which made me feel like I was really blasting through the book.
Though there’s still a part of me nagging that I have to choose one or maybe two or three interests, since I’ve read this book, I’ve felt a lot calmer and more comfortable with my multi-interested mind. Sher says, “Scanners can, so they must, explore many things.” I think what this means is that since I have the ability to be interested in many things at once, I should try to pursue them all to the best of my ability, since not everyone has this skill. The other consequence of allowing myself to work on many projects at once is that I no longer struggle with so much decision fatigue, which was probably my biggest obstacle up to now. Whatever anxiety I still feel over the questions, “What do I work on?” and “Will I ever get good at any thing?” can be allayed by following through on some of her suggestions, like the “School Day Life Design Model” (which I’ll write about another day) and the many three-ring binders.
I recommend this book for anyone who wishes they had only one or two interests but feels despair when they think about “narrowing down.” I’m sure I’ll write more about this topic and my type in the future.
Purchase Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher.